The Dog

The emergency meeting was called by Jelli.

This was unusual because Jelli had no formal authority within the organization.

He also had no known qualifications.

Despite this, everyone attended.

Aditi 2: Why are we here?

Aditi 1: Jelli requested a meeting.

Aditi 2: How?

Aditi 1: He looked at me.

Aditi 2: That's not a meeting request.

Aditi 3: It kind of is.

Aditi 2: No.

Jelli yawned.

Aditi 1: See?

Aditi 2: See what?

Aditi 1: He's exhausted.

Aditi 2: He's a dog.

Aditi 1: Exactly.

Aditi 2: That doesn't explain anything.

Aditi 3: He's had a busy week.

Aditi 2: Doing what?

Aditi 3: Being adorable.

Aditi 2: That's not work.

Aditi 1: You couldn't do it.

Aditi 2: Excuse me?

Aditi 1: You couldn't be adorable professionally.

Aditi 2: I don't want to.

Aditi 1: That's not what I asked.

The meeting briefly lost focus.

As usual.

Jelli stretched.

The entire room immediately stopped talking.

Aditi 3: Look at him.

Aditi 1: I know.

Aditi 2: Please maintain professionalism.

Nobody listened.

Aditi 1: Do you think he knows how much we love him?

Aditi 2: No.

Aditi 1: What?

Aditi 2: I think he assumes it.

Aditi 1: Oh.

Aditi 3: That's somehow worse.

Aditi 2: Or better.

The room grew quiet.

Jelli wandered across the floor.

Without hesitation, he climbed directly onto Aditi.

As he always did.

Aditi 1: Evidence.

Aditi 2: That's not evidence.

Aditi 1: It's very strong evidence.

Aditi 3: Compelling evidence.

Aditi 2: Biased evidence.

Jelli settled down.

Within seconds, he was asleep.

Aditi 1: I don't understand.

Aditi 2: What?

Aditi 1: How does he trust us that much?

Aditi 2: What do you mean?

Aditi 1: He just...

Aditi 1 looked down.

Jelli was completely asleep.

No concerns.

No backup plan.

No anxiety.

No contingency strategy.

Just asleep.

Aditi 1: How does he do that?

Aditi 3: Good question.

Aditi 2: Because he knows he’ll be taken care of.

The room became unexpectedly quiet.

Aditi 1: Oh.

Aditi 3: Oh.

Aditi 2 immediately regretted saying something wise.

Aditi 2: Don't make this emotional.

Aditi 1: Too late.

Aditi 3: Way too late.

Jelli twitched in his sleep.

Probably chasing something.

Probably not succeeding.

Aditi 1: You know what's funny?

Aditi 2: What?

Aditi 1: He's terrible at being a dog.

Aditi 3: Terrible.

Aditi 2: Objectively terrible.

Aditi 1: No hunting instincts.

Aditi 3: None.

Aditi 2: Zero.

Aditi 1: Saw one mouse and outsourced the problem.

Aditi 3: Immediately.

Aditi 2: Without hesitation.

Aditi 1: No income.

Aditi 3: No contributions.

Aditi 2: Negative contributions, honestly.

Aditi 1: And yet.

Aditi 3: And yet.

Aditi 2: And yet.

The room looked down at Jelli.

Sleeping peacefully.

Completely unaware that his performance review was taking place.

Aditi 1: He's perfect.

Aditi 2: That's a strong word.

Aditi 3: He's perfect.

Aditi 2 looked at the sleeping dog.

Then at the two idiots across the table.

Then back at the sleeping dog.

Aditi 2: Fine.

He's perfect.

Aditi 1: Thank you.

Aditi 3: Thank you.

Aditi 2: I hate this meeting.

Narrator:
The meeting adjourned shortly afterward.

No decisions were made.

No action items were assigned.

No objectives were achieved.

It was unanimously considered one of the most successful meetings of the year.

End of Chapter 8.