The Audit
The meeting was called by Aditi 2.
This immediately lowered morale.
Aditi 1: What now?
Aditi 3: Yeah, what now?
Aditi 2: We're conducting an audit.
Aditi 1: Of what?
Aditi 2: The organization.
Aditi 3: That sounds invasive.
Aditi 2: It's literally our organization.
Aditi 3: Still.
Aditi 2 arrived carrying a large binder.
Aditi 1: Oh no.
Aditi 3: That's a big binder.
Aditi 2: Correct.
Aditi 1: What's in it?
Aditi 2: Evidence.
Aditi 1: Against whom?
Aditi 2: Everyone.
Aditi 3: Fair.
Aditi 2 opened the binder.
The first page was titled:
OUTSTANDING ITEMS
The second page was also titled:
OUTSTANDING ITEMS
The third page was titled:
ADDITIONAL OUTSTANDING ITEMS
Aditi 1: This feels targeted.
Aditi 2: It is.
Aditi 3: Proceed.
Aditi 2: Current open initiatives.
She began reading.
The candle business.
The studio.
The garden.
The future garden.
The future future garden.
Several unidentified ideas.
Aditi 3: Strong portfolio.
Aditi 2: No.
Aditi 3: Diverse portfolio.
Aditi 2: No.
Aditi 3: Growing portfolio.
Aditi 2: That's the problem.
Aditi 1: How many projects do we have?
Aditi 2: Too many.
Aditi 3: That's not a number.
Aditi 2: It's the only number that matters.
Aditi made another note.
Aditi 1 leaned over.
Aditi 1: Can I see?
Aditi 2: No.
Aditi 1: Why?
Aditi 2: Because every time I write something down, you take it personally.
Aditi 1: That's because everything feels personal.
Aditi 2: Exactly.
The audit continued.
Aditi 2: Next category.
Unresolved Questions.
Aditi 1 sat up straighter.
Aditi 2: No.
Aditi 1: You haven't even said the category.
Aditi 2: I know where this is going.
Aditi 1: Rude.
Aditi 2: Accurate.
Aditi 2: Current unresolved questions include:
What does he mean?
Why did he say that?
What if—
Aditi 2 stopped reading.
Aditi 1: Please continue.
Aditi 2: No.
Aditi 1: Please.
Aditi 2: Absolutely not.
Aditi 3: I would also like to know.
Aditi 2: Of course you would.
The audit paused briefly.
Aditi 2 turned to the final section.
The room became quieter.
Aditi 2: Last category.
Assets.
Aditi 1: Assets?
Aditi 3: Interesting.
Aditi 2: Yes.
Assets.
The room waited.
Aditi 2: The dog.
Aditi 1: Correct.
Aditi 3: Very correct.
Aditi 2: The studio.
Aditi 3: Correct.
Aditi 2: The business.
Aditi 3: Correct.
Aditi 2: The friends.
Aditi 1: Correct.
Aditi 2: The apartment.
Aditi 1: Correct.
Aditi 2: The life.
The room grew quiet.
Aditi 2 looked down at the binder.
For the first time all morning, she stopped reading.
Aditi 1: What?
Aditi 2: Nothing.
Aditi 3: What?
Aditi 2: I just realized something.
Aditi 1: What?
Aditi 2: I've spent years auditing liabilities.
Aditi 3: Interesting.
Aditi 1: Go on.
Aditi 2: The unfinished work.
The mistakes.
The risks.
The things that aren't done.
The things that could go wrong.
Aditi 3: Yeah.
Aditi 1: Yeah.
Aditi 2: And I don't think I spend enough time auditing assets.
The room became very still.
Aditi 1 looked down.
Aditi 3 stopped fidgeting.
Aditi 2: Objectively speaking...
Aditi 1: Yeah?
Aditi 2: This organization is doing pretty well.
Silence.
Aditi 1: Wow.
Aditi 3: Wow.
Aditi 2: Don't make it weird.
Aditi 1: You complimented us.
Aditi 3: Document this immediately.
Aditi 2: No.
Aditi 1: Historic moment.
Aditi 3: Historic moment.
Aditi 2: Meeting adjourned.
Narrator:
The audit concluded at 8:22 AM.
No new projects were approved.
No old projects were completed.
Nothing operationally changed.
And yet somehow, everyone left feeling a little richer.
End of Chapter 15.